On Seduction: Part II

1.     Keeping it Real. You’re going to make the first move.  Go for fun and light rather than the old stinky cheese. . .Men and women are both attracted to a genuine lighthearted approach with good eye contact and an easy smile.  Start conversation with something you can actually talk about!

a.     Compliments are good, but over-flattering is no good!  What’s the balance?  Keep it to one or two complimentary observations.

b.     Ask if you can hang around versus assuming the person you are attracted to has no other admirers already in waiting. . .

c.      Watch your body proximity.  There is a comfort zone determined by several factors including: personal comfort and logistical comfort (noise, available space etc.).  Too close too soon is too much!

d.     Accept the response and be prepared to walk away or to begin an enchanting conversation with the person of your dreams!

2.     Protection Responsibilities. So you know there is going to be sexual intimacy.  You’ve both been grooving on one another and the suggestion to “get a room” has been made and verbally accepted.  Who is responsible for protection. . .? Both parties are engaging, of course, and both are inherently responsible.

a.     Gentlemen, pack condoms if you are planning to get lucky, and make sure the goods have not passed their expiration date!

b.     Ladies, if you have special requirements (latex free or other desired items), you should have them handy!

c.      Protection is a no brainer.  Use it or unnecessarily expose yourself to whatever potential viruses and bacteria are lurking.  Sometimes carriers of STDs are asymptomatic! Don’t make yourself a petri-dish!

3.     Setting the Stage. Even the greatest sexual encounters can become “run of the mill” after awhile.  Explore different positions, locations, toys and moods for your encounters!  The Kama Sutra offers photo and video examples of positions and any adult store will have a wide range of toy selections.  Most importantly, decide what you are both looking for from the encounter!

a.     Exploration? Spice it up with something different and at the edge of your “standard” repertoire.  Add a massage or a blindfold. . .

b.     Romance? Light some candles, draw a bath with essential oils and create a trail of rose petals to satin sheets.

c.      Fiery Passion? Wear something super sexy and torment your partner with delectable foreplay until neither one of you can take another second!

d.     Connection? Arrange a palate of fruits, chocolates, cheeses and a delicate wine or champagne and feed one another before indulging in a couples massage.

4.     Post-Coital Reporting. A close cousin to “constant reassurance,” this sometimes strange process can kill the passion created in the bedroom (or wherever. . .).

a.     Systematic assessment reports are cumbersome.  Asking your partner how things went, if you did “ok” and if they enjoyed the experience is basically saying that you were not paying attention during the encounter.

b.     Room for improvement?  Absolutely!  Supporting your partner’s sexual desires and needs is the key to healthy sexual relationship! Depending on his/her comfort level and familiarity with his/her own body, you can certainly ask your partner to demonstrate or share things that will enhance pleasure!

c.      Likes and dislikes should be open for discussion!  Sex is one of the most intimate activities in which couples engage.  If you’re not comfortable talking to your partner about your sexual relationship, perhaps you should not be sexually active!

5.     The Butterfly & The Net. Sex is only one small part of mastering seduction and understanding the nature of relationships!  In the most basic sense, the woman is a butterfly and the man is the net.  Seduction is an art and the roles are simple. . .

a.     The butterfly is:  happy, sparkling and almost within reach, pausing only to gracefully gather beauty and passionately, blissfully spread its light to that it touches.

b.     The net is:  strong, transparent, adventurous, sturdy and anchoring, seeking to capture and tame the beauty just outside its reach.

The butterfly allows itself to be captured, playing within the net and delighting in the encounter, released again to gather passion and joy and playfully darting into the net to deliver her nectar.

The net lightly pursues, chasing the passion and joy and offering a secure and warm place to land in which both butterfly and net can share the deepness of passion and the lightness of laughter.