This ancient art has made many a “plain” or even historically “unattractive” individual into an icon of beauty and desire!

What was the secret?  A magick potion, of course . . .concocted of an understanding of basic communication, confidence, passion and magnetic energy!

Today the same blending of energies works to a similar end for both men and women alike.  The trick is understanding yourself deeply first and the person of your desire next.

Lets begin with a few simple guidelines:

1.     Present yourself as you see yourself! You must be able to wear not only the clothing, but also the energy of WHOM you are presenting to the world!  Ease up on the cologne or perfume and remember that cleanliness is always extremely attractive . . .

a.     What makes you feel attractive, irresistible?

b.     How would your two best friends describe your personality?

c.      How do you WANT to be described and seen?

d.     What type of person are you trying to attract?

Working with your responses above, you will be able to fine-tune your image, bringing it into alignment with your sexy-self!

2.     Practice making eye contact! Eye contact is sexy!  The eyes are vehicles that can convey mystery, desire, passion, boredom and hundreds of other emotions!  Gazing into the eyes of your partner shows interest and desire.  Staring, on the other hand, can be creepy!  So practice in a mirror, or with a friend who wants to support the fine-tuning of your awakening mojo.

3.     How do you like to be touched? This is an important question to consider, and a great place to start in seducing your partner.  You will, of course, need to make the appropriate modifications in physical contact with your partner based on the following cues.

a.     Verbal requests. (My favorite and direct approach to desire fulfillment!  If offered as a positive statement, these tend to get the best results the fastest!) “I really like when you. . .”  And unless you have pre-established a specific “safe word,” “No” ALWAYS means NO!

b.     Verbal response.  Groans, moans and other verbal cues should let you know when your partner is indicating a positive response.  Pay attention, because this may often be your only cue as to what is working . . . or what is not.

c.      Physical response. Anything from cringing to leaning in is important!  A gentle repositioning of a hand or other body part is probably not a mistake! Go where you are guided, provided you are comfortable doing so! If, on the other hand you are deflected or re-directed . . . honor the unspoken request or you will probably not be invited for seconds . . .

4.     Know when to talk and when to put a sock in it! There is an inordinate amount of bad dialogue in porn videos.  Sadly, they are America’s number one training mechanism for most men, and some women as well.  Find out if your partner is turned on by chatter or turned off by it!

a.     Talking Dirty.  Anything from “traditional” four letter words to name-calling can fall into this category.  Be aware that most women do not like being referred to as “whores” during sexual encounters.

b.     Reassurance.  It isn’t sexy to constantly seek reassurance, and it ruins the mood!  If your partner likes it, they’ll give you the signs above!  If you can’t read the signs, ask your partner to help you learn to read them.

c.      Loud Sex.  Some people can’t help it.  Genuine vocalizing can be a hot part of passion.  It can also be a distraction.  Work with your partner to find a happy medium for vocal expression.

PART II  coming soon . . .

Americans have gotten some negative feedback on our celebration of Thanksgiving.  Accusations of gluttony, forced relationships and labored thanks are amongst the “Tweets” and “U-Tube” videos that have passed before me in these last few days.

I personally enjoy preparing a Thanksgiving meal for my family and friends and will use the holiday as an opportunity to do so!  There is something magickal about gathering together to share a meal.

For me, that magick begins with the preparation of carefully selected menu items.  Knowing that they will soon provide sustenance to those who partake makes cooking a happy task.  I am grateful for the sacrifice and gift of each potato, carrot, collard green, spinach leaf, cranberry and onion that passes under my knife.  I am grateful for the sacrifice and gift of the turkey and the pig that will soon be filling the air with rich aromas.

For many, thanksgiving is not something reserved for a single holiday during the year.  We speak it silently upon waking, before meals and in the way we treat others and ourselves during our waking hours.  We speak it with prayers, kindness, a smile and an embrace.

The beauty of Thanksgiving is in its reminder that the spoken word, too, is important.  It is a vital part of our sharing our gratitude with all those who touch our lives:  animal, vegetable, mineral. . .human. . .

We are reminded to speak aloud our gratitude to and for one another.  And on this day we have an opportunity to begin healing our wounds in many relationships, to seek and allow connection with those whom we would otherwise avoid.  To recognize the power through which all healthy relationships are born and can persevere.  Love.  Respect.  Gratitude.

Perhaps this day, filled with friends, family or honored alone, can be the hard-reset button for each of us:  Remember to be Grateful!

In communion with our meal and with one another, let us take this opportunity to get in the habit of being thankful each day.

Thank YOU for sharing in my thoughts today!

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Libra in me is in a constant state of judgment in its search for balance.  Upon exposure to perceived hypocrisy, untruth, favoritism or lack of integrity, its hackles go up and the scales tip, seeking to correct the injustice.  And each time, I ask myself, “why?”

Why does it matter what others are doing?  Why does it matter what they think or say?  And what does it really have to do with who I am, anyway?

Life isn’t fair.

These words echo in most of our ears, drilled in from early childhood and reaffirmed over and over as we grow into adults.  Yet the need for things to be fair lies within us, constantly rebalancing our interaction with others and shaping the worlds in which we live and grow.  Can it be overcome?  Should it be overcome?

There is a universal balancing mechanism in play which naturally re-harmonizes spiritual energy.  Known by various names, it is a return of energy to the sender, amplified as it moves through different vibratory frequencies.  Its implication is that any energy sent out, be it thought, word or action, is increased and then returned to the sender directly in various forms through which balance is eventually restored.  For those of us seeking instant remedy, there may be some frustration associated with this, as the universe does not work according to our individual timetables.

When there is a “wrong” done against us (real or imagined), why does earn hours of our frustration and energy?  Perhaps this is the best question.  The teaching is that anything bothering me is simply a reflection of my unresolved emotional wounds and attachments.

Great!  Someone’s clearly unjust acts bother me and it’s on me?!

Not exactly . . . We don’t have control over what someone else does, says or thinks.  We simply must understand that there are two sides to everything.  And sometimes more!  Why something bothers us personally is something we are responsible for addressing.  Only upon healing our personal attachment to it, can we move past it.

We all make choices based on our personal life experiences.  Our woundings, our strengths, our passions, our fears, our egos . . . and sometimes, our spiritual guidance . . .

When someone acts out of integrity, s/he is doing so from someplace outside of an empowered space.  We have a choice to respond from our own wounds or from a place of personal empowerment.  Our response resonates light or deepens the grooves of our pain’s darkness.

Insisting upon our definition of fairness in all life’s experiences gives strength to our shadows and wages a battle we cannot win.  Living in integrity shines light into the world and the faces lurking within our personal darkness.  We cannot control others, nor should we seek to do so.

We can, however, make personal choices that exemplify and facilitate Harmony, Optimism, Passion and Empowerment.  We can live what we speak and desire & shift that which causes spiritual or physical disruption within us and around us.  Only then will our need for “fairness” fade to compassion, humility and continued personal growth as well as the ability to live without judgment and fear.

As Father’s Day approaches I think of the extraordinary man who I am fortunate enough to call my father.  Forty years ago, I can only wonder what he was thinking as he and my mother went through the paperwork and other legalities associated with adopting their first child.  I believe we were all brought together by no mistake!

When my mother crossed over late last year, my sister and I had the opportunity to go through the boxes of old family photos (slides, mostly).  In them were pictures I now cherish, highlighting the special memories time slowly erases from the mind:  Dad and me in the snow, decorating the Christmas tree, posing for family albums or snuggling with my sister and me in the magick of storytelling, his soft voice enthralling us for centuries of tales scribed by extraordinary authors.

While photos don’t remember everything, within the magick they carry, they spark memories from within us, waking up our appreciation, love, sadness and joy.  My dad is the best man I know.  In a profession sadly overcome with hypocrisy and political maneuvering, he has always lived his convictions and the lessons he shared in his sermons.

With degrees in philosophy and religion, he is a master practitioner of both.  I always loved hearing the deep debates between my parents.  Hours of discussion, argument and wisdom being passed back and forth.  These days I sometimes find myself fortunate enough to spark his interest in a topic or two.

We have not always agreed, nor will we, I suspect.  I have a very different life, in some ways, than I’m sure he envisioned for me.  But he is my father.  It is his strength and support that has held me together and lifted me up in the past few months, just prior to and since the birth of my daughter.  He has been my rock, my sounding board, my advisor and my home. . .exactly when I needed him the most.

At my daughter’s birth, he stood for hours in my apartment waiting for her to be born in our well-prepared environment.  Midwives, cameramen and close friends nearby, it was Dad who gave me the silent comfort I most needed.  When the hours of labor turned into days, he prayed with me and supported me, body and spirit, as I made the decision to go to the hospital.

When Maya was finally brought into this world (via emergency c-section), her grandpa cut her umbilical cord and supported her as she was brought to me.  In the subsequent days, he slept on and off in my hospital room, doting on his newest grandchild and on me as well!

For a month he stayed with us in my apartment, doing the 3:00am walking and rocking, attending every doctor visit, doing laundry, fixing meals and hosting the numerous people who came by to visit and see the baby.  We missed him terribly when he returned home!

My father has done more to show his love and support for me than I could ever have dreamed.  His sacrifices, gifts and love are only words describing his generous and humble nature.  He is so much more than that!

Thank you, Dad.  Thank you for accepting me, for loving me, for supporting me.  Thank you for being my Dad and Maya’s grandpa.

Happy Father’s Day!

Everything is a relationship.

The nature of these relationships is based on our approach to and understanding of ourselves and the energies at play in our lives.

Perspective, empowerment, emotion, balance and change (or lack of these things) are at play in all relationships.  From money and career to love and friendship, these energies are at play, either solidifying or cracking the foundation of our interactions.

We all think and act from within our own perspective of any given relationship.  It is who we are!  It is the sum of our experiences and the foundation of the personality.  But is the personality who we actually are?  Or is it, rather, the mask we wear as we uncover the deeper secrets of ourselves as we journey through this physical experience.  The personality can change.  As we are exposed to different cultures, ideas, experiences and people, we incorporate these things into ourselves.  We take on the characteristics with which we identify, and expand our awareness of the world.

Every person seeks to be empowered.  Empowerment brings heightened spiritual and physical awareness, passion for life and joy!  True empowerment provides us with the grace to be compassionate towards others, accepting each individual where they are in their own growth and discovery process and granting ourselves the same courtesy.

When we are connected to our empowerment, there is no inclination or need to pass judgment on our relationships or the players therein.  We can observe, note and step back to view the bigger picture, directing our attention on what we can do to make things better.

As human beings we are often influenced by our emotions and the emotions of others.  In person-to-person relationships, this is an obvious observation.  We desire connection; we want to be “right;” we seek approval; we require justice; we need to be heard; we allow our personal emotional attachments to influence how we react and interact within our relationships.

All reactive responses are based in our fears, our lack of balance within and understanding of the energies at play in our lives:  the elements, relationship mirrors, astrology, physical health, sense of security and more.

When in balance with these things, we are able to see multiple perspectives broadening our vision to take in the bigger picture.  Healthy communication comes not out of what we are feeling, but instead, comes from a desire to gain understanding, support the Light and facilitate the change in energy that brings all parties to a place of greater balance and flow.

In our relationships to more “inanimate” things, the correlation is still the same.  If we are afraid of abundance or having a healthy relationship, how can we possibly connect to the energy to create these things?  Again, we must take a step back and approach the relationship from a place of empowerment and strength, rather than fear.

Continuing to do things the way we have done them will only bring the same results over and over again.  We must be willing to make the changes necessary to support our growth and the relationships we desire!

Would it be possible to have a world without “Darkness?”

Our physical experience is made up of opportunities to learn and evolve, to reconnect to Spirit as we make choices to discover, integrate and potentially master the energies of the earth as so many Ascended Masters have done before us.

The classroom in which we all journey through life is vast, and no two people will ever have identical experiences.  However we are all presented with the choice between Light and Dark.

Many days we choose to embrace the darkness around us.  Darkness sometimes masks itself in our emotions, but it is always present in the following:

• Judgment
• Criticism
• Fear
• Anger
• Resentment
• Depression
• Pity
• Abuse
• Martyrdom
• Enabling
• Escapism
• In-Action
• ANYTHING that contributes to Separation instead of Solution!

And yet we have all participated in these very human experiences!  Are we wrong?  Are we evil for doing participating?  Certainly not.  These are our tools for learning, our guidelines for growth and indicators of our personal healing and empowerment.

We live in a world of Duality.  Where there is Light, Darkness, too, exists.  We focus on the Light to illuminate our Shadows, our Emotional Wounds, so that we may heal them.

As children we begin to test the boundaries of our physical and emotional worlds.  We learn what hurts and what feels good.  We are molded by our parents, peers and society’s doctrines, sometimes rebelling and sometimes accepting them.  The impressions are made, however, and they become an integral part of who we grow to be!

As adults we often identify with the programming and wounding of our childhood.  We often feel somewhat helpless to the old scars and guidelines even though we intellectually grasp their no longer relevant origins or applications in our current state of empowerment.

We must be reminded that we are no longer the helpless children we once were.  We are accountable for our own choices and we create our own reality with those choices!

Hiding from the Darkness simply causes more Fear or Resentment, essential tools of our “inner demons.”

Allowing ourselves to see the Shadows, the things, emotions, people, and energies that block us from the Light, gives us the opportunity to reassess and make choices that support our healing!

When we see something we truly do not like about our actions, thoughts or emotional state, when we know what that Shadow is, we can conquer it!  We can change our reality with awareness and action!!

Working with these Shadows one at a time slowly peels away the layers of personal history and stops the buildup of additional sediment.  Choosing to release a Shadow is the most important step in healing.

Once the choice is made it resonates within the physical body and then begins to move into the layers of the aura, cleaning out emotional debris and allowing Light to fill the resulting holes.

The more we focus on what we are creating, the more the Light becomes our focus!  The result?  We carry less Darkness and cannot be so easily wooed by its seductive nature.

Shifting consciousness, spiritual awareness and greater personal empowerment are the results every student of Light desires.  We begin by identifying our Shadows and taking them on one at a time.  In addition to this, the focus of each day’s energies is wrapped around the following energies:

• Gratitude
• Forgiveness
• Hope
• Joy
• Compassion
• Humility
• Spiritual Connection
• Healing
• Empowerment
• Passion
• Wisdom
• Faith
• Service

We cannot escape the Darkness.  It is our teacher.  But make no mistake, it is not a friend.  Denying its presence is Darkness in itself, but embracing it carries deeper dangers.

Illuminate your Shadows and the Darkness will shrink from the Light you create.

A Flower for Mom

We are being told that Mom has 24 hours left with us. We know. We knew. And it doesn’t make it easier to let her go.

For me, the comfort comes in knowing that I was able to spend a few weeks in total service to the woman who gave me life. Not by birth. But better. She gave me her heart and soul not because she bore me, but because she and my father wanted a child so badly and could not conceive, that they reached out to adopt.

The cancer that made her sterile 56 years ago at thirteen is the thing that brought us together 39 years ago. It is also that same cancer that now takes her from this world.

“Will you sing for me? At my funeral.”

“I will, Mom, if that is what you want.” I answer her with my heart aching and my throat closing. How will I sing? I can hardly breathe at even the thought of it.

“I want you to sing something light, something beautiful,” she says softly, “something that will let God know I’m at the gate.”

“He’ll know,” I say, holding her hand. This is the way she prefers to fall asleep now. Her hand in my father’s or mine. Her need for our touch, for forgiveness, hope, miracles and letting go all come to the forefront as the sun disappears each day.

“I’m not afraid,” she told me over and over in the past few weeks, “I’m ready to go to God.” And God shall have her. I only pray that he will open his arms to her and love her a fraction as much as the people she leaves behind.

“Do you think God is a man or woman?” she asked me in one of our late-night conversations.

“Both,” I say.

“Must be,” she responds, “I think they like good food. And good colors.”

“Colors?”

“Everything is so beautiful! The colors are bright and rich and I can feel them and taste them all!” she grins with all her teeth in a child-like glee. “They designed things together. They had to. Because if He had designed the world alone it would have been in browns. Like your Dad. She added the greens, pinks, purples, reds, blues and yellows!”

And then she was asleep, smiling and dreaming of the richness of her world. Her grandbabies, her children, her husband, her siblings and her God.

Her last weeks have been filled with family, friends, creamsicles, popsicles, Jell-O and Mrs. Lee’s Chinese cooking.

She has vividly recalled her history and others, sharing her memories with pleasure and sadness. And in the darkness, just us, she says night after night, “Elizabeth, you will write this. You will be the one to tell my story. Please tell my story.”

I will write it, Mom. This is part of the closing chapter.

It is Sunday, October 25^th, 2009. It is one month to the day that we brought Mom home from the hospital and set her up in the living room. At 3:14 this morning Mom’s heart beat for the final time. My sister, father and I were all holding her as her soul left her finally still physical form. She is no longer in pain.

I bathed her face and combed her hair, moderately covering the wound on her head. In her green medical gown (the one she preferred) she was quiet. No more labored breathing or restless movements. No more medicine, frustration or pain.

When the coroner came to remove the body, no longer her vessel to navigate, I covered it with the green blanket she had complimented, caressed and “tasted” over the past few weeks. More than anything throughout her life, she had feared the dark, the cold and the wet.

Bundled now, clean and dry, she will never fear the darkness again.

When I was three days old, she gave herself to me at a Salvation Army adoption center in Chicago, Illinois.  She chose me, she used to tell me, out of all of the other babies.  Because she knew she would love me best.  And she has.

Long recognized for her wit, poise and candor, my mother is wise and beautiful.  She is the bravest and strongest woman I will ever know.  In her battles and in her loving, she has always taken a “no prisoners” attitude, living her life with grace, compassion and a sense of humor.

Through the years we have argued and cried, giggled and shared secrets.  And the dearest moments I have with her are being entwined in her arms.  I cherish the touch of her hands on my face and hair, delicately stroking with her strong, soft hands.  “You are my dollie-pie,” she says, “and I love you.”

I don’t suppose I have been an easy daughter to raise.  Like her, I have a strong will, strong opinions and I often find myself belaboring an over-addressed point.  But like her, I have learned to laugh at my mistakes and pick up the various pieces necessary to move on a little wiser.

I have never been “conventional,” and in the midst of my self-discovery and sometimes rocky learning processes she has stood beside me, staunchly defending my decisions and proclaiming, “I raised you to be a good person.  And you are.”  She has never judged me, offering me instead, her strong embrace to which I know I can always return.  No matter where my road leads.

I honor you, Mom.  I cannot imagine my life without you in it.  I only hope someday I can give my daughter what you have given me.  That your examples of faith, strength, passion, commitment and wisdom can help me to bring her joy as you have brought me joy.

I hope someday that you can hold her in your arms and that we may expand our circle for another life to begin its journey within the beauty of your Light.

I love you more than I can ever explain in words alone. Thank you for choosing me.

Emotions are cavernous and confusing things for many of us.  If left untamed, they become the masters of our universe, controlling every conscious thought, action, word and then weave themselves into the fabric of the subconscious mind, threading themselves into the roots of our very identity.

Emotional Attachment occurs any time we have a “button” pushed and we engage in the energy of that button.  A mirror for our unhealed wounds, this button holds a thread of truth, perceived or genuine, which causes our emotional reaction to a person or situation.  

The Dali Lama once made the following statement to a devotee who was reflecting on his grace and kindness, “Any goodness you see in me is a reflection of the goodness in you.”  If this is true, it stands to reason we can only see in others, that which exists on some level within ourselves.  Positive or Negative.

So how can we stop ourselves from engaging an obvious negative emotional response and keep it from controlling our behaviors and relationships?  

• Acknowledge the emotional response is stirring
• Take a few deep breaths to re-stabilize your energy and state of mind
• Identify what is actually bothering you 
• Recognize your part in it (Keep in mind that if it’s stimulating an emotional response from you, you are at least 1% responsible!  The truth never carries an emotional charge. . .)
• Allow yourself to release the piece that belongs to you if you no longer wish to have this emotional response control you
• Reassess your emotional state
• Address boundary issues if appropriate and necessary
• Move on!!

Energy secret . . . You have 15 minutes to stew if you need to stew!  That includes conversations with friends, family, or private funk-making.  More time than that actually locks the negative energies into the physical as it sends them out into the universe with a giant magnet!!

The universe understands energy.  Send out the energy you want to receive!  And don’t be afraid to look in the mirror . . . it offers huge opportunity for growth.

Many of us have a distant, mystical concept of magick.  It has been defined as anything from total fantasy and fairytale to card tricks and illusion.  But somewhere in the middle lies its true definition and power.

Magick is defined in ancient mystery teachings as, “creating something out of nothing” or “creating something from something.”  Is it that simple?  Or is this a watered down definition for something far more complex in nature?

The Masters speak of every individual having the potential to attain enlightenment.  But what is enlightenment?  There are many schools of thought addressing this subject, some esoteric, others more practical in nature.  But with either approach, the goal is to reach a level of awareness and being which transcends the mundane attachments of the human and aligns with the divine.

Magick is the nature of living.

Everything we do is an act of magick, and an act of creation.  It is our tendency to complicate things, which makes this basic principle challenging.  How could it possibly be so simple?  And what about luck or fate?

We create most of our luck with our thoughts, words and actions!  Certainly there is the rare “right place, right time” experience, but the rest is for us to determine with our choices.  We shape our own lives!  Only we are truly accountable for ourselves.

The responsibility this statement suggests is somewhat daunting, to be sure.  Especially for those of us who are staunch believers in destiny.  But isn’t it far more empowered to approach life with the attitude that one can create his or her own destiny?!  We are here to experience life and to gain mastery over ourselves and our world.  If we are aware of our choices, we make magick consciously.  We grow as physical and spiritual beings, and we live empowered!  If not, we contribute inadvertently to chaos and although we will grow, our evolution is stilted. 

So. . .magick is simple!  The more awareness we have of ourselves and the world, the better we will create in it!